FESTIVITIES' END & EMOTIONAL BEGINNINGS

Slap me sensless and stop the clock!

WOW....

2017 was singly the most taxing year by far for (and what I assume) 92% of the world's population.  Correct me if I am wrong but for crying in a bottomless bucket, was 2017 a monster disaster year of note, or what?
I mean, let's be real here, a failed exorcism of a gazillion demons would have left me in a better state and frame of mind.  No jokes.

I am only writing this (rather late than never) "Merry Christmas", "Hapy New Year" crap days after  they have come and gone and basically were force-thrown into these ending situations, endings that slyly and swiftly caught us unaware.  Like this time of the year usually goes, only this time round, the nitrous oxide as been burning at both ends for a full 365 days solid.  I'm not ready to start fresh, this car is full speed going to kill me, travelling to a destination on a long lonely winding road, with unresolved business, issues, baggage and every emotion possible wanting and needing my undivided attention.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Am I happy it's a new year? Yes.  Yes, I am.  Am I ready to leap blindly into it?  No.  No, I am not.  I am stuck in the space of void that 2017 left me speechless, frustrated, depressed, and stressed out to the pinnacles of giving up.

The municipality seemed to be on strike and failed to take the rubbish out.

I most certainly cannot wait on the services of the municipality to take care of this, it's an unfulfilling job for them and the stench of the old unwanted garbage which is non-recycable, rotting day by day is getting too much for me to breathe in.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!  
I'm making a giant bonfire, do you care to do your bit for your environment?
Yes?  Indeed the answer I was looking for.  I'm lugging all my unresolved business, issues, baggage and all the unnecessary emotions into the dumpster, just a bit down the road called "Past Street".

I covered the unwanted garbage from top to bottom in explosives and put flame to it.  There was a big bang, an explosion of the old garbage in shards.  Carefully observing as the grey ashes blew away in a cool cleansing easterly wind.  I watched the flames eat and swallow the parts of me that I've grown accustomed to, that has been weighing down on me like heavy heartless hail clouds.

Fearing the intense heat but ironically finding comfort in watching the demise and destruction of it all.

I've become so used to watching and participating in my own destruction and this was an odd feeling and somewhat different.
I had completely detached myself from this destruction and it was sad as it had become my safe zone.  But I'm relieved, the tears streaming down my cheeks, I bid one last farewell to my destructive companions.
May we NEVER meet again.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
To my new found friends, joy, patience, love and tolerance, I've noticed you wearing fire-proof cloaks, they kinda make you look like superheroes and like you might possess some magical powers.  I see you smiling and laughing a lot and it looks good on you.  Thank you for inviting me to sit with you, I'm new here, just transferred and I have this knowing  (call it my intuition) that we're going to get along very well.  I feel like I now have the space for you in my life.  I've ridden the clutter.

2018 in numerology is 11.  Lady luck is on our side and the time is  now to manifest the future together, forget the explosions that happened in Past Street and sail towards Eutpoia.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Let's get one thing straight
The past is lost
The past is gone
You are so incredibly capable
And you are so fantastically strong.