A letter
to my children
To the 3
beautiful souls I helped bring into this world…
Liam,
Mila and Keller, all three of you, so beautiful, such big bright beautiful
smiles that can light up the darkest of days, days that I hope you never have
to see and experience ever.
I hope when
you awake every morning, and greet the days with the same vigour and
determination that the sun does every day.
Without fail. I hope you take
time out on the rainy days to reflect on how, just like the sun needs to shine,
the rain needs to let go of the weight it’s been holding onto. Take those days to read, or write down how
grateful each day that comes and goes makes you. Write!
Learn to jot down everything that happens to you and feel the release
and comfort it brings putting feelings on paper.
Play. Never let your playful side deteriorate as
age creeps up on you. Play games, make
jokes, do pranks, whatever it takes to keep your body and mind moving in a playful
manner.
Laugh. If ever you stop laughing, you stop
living. I urge you NOT to try this. Laugh at life, you never get out alive
anyway. Laugh at your siblings because
no matter how mad they make you, remember you share the same DNA, laugh at your
parents because most of the time they have no idea what the hell they are
doing. Laugh at yourself, because if you
don’t other people will. Never stop
laughing. Never stop showing your teeth
to the world, and embrace the laughter too in others.
Learn. Remember, learning is the mother of all gifts
you can give yourself. Learn and take in
knowledge on just about anything. Even
if you don’t take an interest in the given subject, learn about it anyway, you’ll
never know when you can give your two cents worth and maybe help someone in
need. Your brain in super powerful and
you’ll be surprised how much information it can store. And no, it won’t explode even though on some
days it may seem so. Your mind is one of
the most important things on you, and a knowledgeable mind coupled with your
beautiful personalities will be of your utmost prized possessions.
Cry. Yes, cry.
Not like you’ve seen mommy cry because that’s way too much. Cry when you are happy and by all means cry
when you are sad. They say crying is a
means of release, and the release you feel after a good cry can be just what
the doctor ordered. But don’t cry too
much, you have to know the difference and distinguish when the cry is normal
and when there is something else brewing.
Learn to know that difference and take action quickly before it’s too
late.
Celebrate. Celebrate whenever possible. Firstly, celebrate every day. It’s a gift.
Life is short and we need to be celebrating much more than we do. Celebrate your birthday, for without this
given day, at that given time and the unique alignment of all the planets, the
sun and the moon at the exact millisecond you wailed your first lung’s capacity
is a very special blue print of who and what you are, only you will ever have
this moment to yourself always.
Celebrate your accomplishments, you deserve it. Celebrate your failures, without them you
wouldn’t know what you really excel in.
Celebrate all special occasions without turning them into disasters
later. You will regret it and so will
everyone else you were celebrating with.
Make
lots of friends and few enemies. It’s a
given, not everyone will like you, and make peace with that. Not everyone on this planet can get along, and
know when you do spot a gem in the making.
I have a very odd way of making friends.
They had to grow on me. I have
huge walls that need to be ventured over first.
You don’t need to follow in my footsteps and plead with you to give
people a fair chance, just like you will want people to do for you. You will make many friends in life, those that
vibe with you no matter how many times you think they must be crazy to stick
around, yet do. Those friends, you
should treasure forever. And don’t be
sad when friends drift apart, that’s also part of growing up. But never stop making new ones.
Understanding. Not everyone is able to understand things
from your point of view. It is your duty
to try and talk and convey your viewpoint so that people can understand it from
where you are standing. And don’t get
mad when they can’t. You also need to
have understanding for others. We are
all different, we are all from different walks of life and not everyone is the
same. Thank God for that. Can you imagine the boredom? Take an interest in developing your understanding
for things beyond your control and how to handle it in a calm and understanding
manner.
Anger. Scrap this emotion totally from your
vocabulary. We are all prone to anger
outbursts from time to time but please, and I can talk from years of experience
here, do not make anger a foundation on showing the world how mad you are at
it. The world has done nothing to
you. When you feel angry, stop right
there. Remove yourself (mentally) and
observe what it is that is making you feel this horrible emotion. Take a deep breath, take 1000 if you need to,
but don’t act on it. If you need to take
a walk, a drive, a swim, whatever it takes you to chillax for a bit, do
it. You will only regret what comes out
of your mouth and once it’s out, it’s tickets.
And once those tickets have been printed, the printer can’t unprint it. The receiver of the tickets will not want
them either. Ticket wasted.
Love. Love as much as you can squeeze into your
heart. I cannot stress this enough. Love and love deeply. Have your heart explode with the best feeling
and have it broken into a trillion shards which will feel irreparable. This will give you respect for the enormity
of how great and important love it.
Treat this emotion with respect.
Carry it around like piece of blown glass and protect it as if you might
accidentally stumble into an Opera House out of the blue.
Discover. Discover yourself. Never stop discovering, never stop enquiring
and looking for new interesting things about yourself, other people, and this
can go onto just about anything. Discover
new places, discover new likes and dislikes, discover new foods, discover new
abilities, discover deep and meaningful things that make your discoveries a
pleasant one. Discover what takes your
breath away and discover what makes you want to crawl up into a small space in
terror.
Dream. And dream big. Everything ever achieved was first a thought,
a dream. Whatever you do, do not dream
without action. If you have a dream or a
goal, go out and do it. Do it because
you can and will achieve anything you set your mind to. I know you have the ability to do so. I had so many dreams and yet very little pull
through. Don’t make that same
mistake. The world is for you to
conquer.
Hurt. Hurt, feel what if feels like to be at the
bottom pits of a black swirling vortex being swallowed up by the demons that
make the core of this earth a deadly place to be. Don’t stay hurt. Know who is at fault, if it is you, I’m
sorry, you’ll probably have to deal with your mistake and act upon it. If it’s not by your own hands, you’ll also
need to act upon it, but do it wisely.
Hurting is fine, but remember it’s just a pit stop. Not a destination.
Remember. Remember that I love you so much, I want the
best for you at all times which I seldom can give you. Remember that although I seemed sad a lot of
the times, it might have been a happy sad.
Or if it was a sad, sad, I apologise for letting you watch me and not be
able to do anything for me. At those
times, not even I could do anything for me.
Please know that every time you think I was irritable with you, it wasn’t
with you personally, it was with the situation I could not come to terms
with. I apologise that when I needed
space and told you to go play outside, that I did not even want to be in my own
space and did not want my negativity to rub off onto you. If you ever wanted to play longer or watch
more TV and I never allowed you, I know how important it is to get lots of rest
and know that trying to cope on very little sleep will only spiral into a bad
habit of insomnia which can let the mind wonder into places that you might not
be able to get out of. Remember that I
wrote this letter from the bottom pits of my heart and wrote it truthfully, out
of what I’ve learnt so far from my 36-year experience on what I think is a very
unforgiving place to be. Remember that
this is my perspective only and remember that I AM TELLING YOU that this is
wrong (my perspective).
Lastly
but most importantly. Don’t forget to
look up at the phenomenal skies at night.
Take an interest in the phases of the Moon, once the beauty of the moon
reveals itself to you, you’ll never be able to look at the night sky the
same. You’ll forever be in absolute awe
of the night time skies. Study the stars
and map out the planets, once you know how they work and how they affect you at
certain times, you might have a better understanding why things that you can’t
explain are happening or affecting you. Learn
about yourself via astrology, and know that, that blue-print I explained
earlier on in my letter is of utmost importance. You are written in the stars, we all are, we
came from beauty and we will most definitely return back to beauty. It’s your duty to make your journey on this
strange and misunderstood planet a trip that you will not forget.
May
every blessing come your way and may you find yourself, do what you love and
live with purpose. I love you dearly,
you were made with love and you will die with love. And this to me is what is most
important. Be love, be in love and give
love. Always give love.
