APPEARS TO BE ODD - INTRO

APPEARS TO BE ODD

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By Tracy Trace

I’ve been dragging my feet for about 3 years now threatening to start writing. Then I had the courage and drive to do so and next moment I’d cower down because of what I thought about other people’s opinions, people I don’t even know and people I will probably never meet in my lifetime, well, this one anyway.

Who would want to read my story or even more, who would even really care?

I’ve always liked writing, it always feels better to lighten off the load onto paper and I can probably communicate much better with pen and paper than my actual tongue.

Somehow in conversation, the dialogue and thoughts I had fathomed up in my head never leave my mouth in the simplified sequence I had mapped it out in my mind. No Sir-E, it was definitely a given that actual face-to-face communication was not my forte.

Even more so when it came to conflict, arguments or just plainly trying to get a point across to people envisioning my thoughts.

Trying to solve the moon landing would be easier (which of course, to me is totally plausible, do NOT debate me on that!).

Because of this “communication debilitation” I would most of the time retract or walk away due to complete frustration within myself trying to process the information, trying my very best not to get too ruffled and then there are times when I just give up totally.

My mouth and my mind, M&M, and not the gangsta rap artist though, had a constant battle of the bands. Frustrating it was.

We are all given a unique mind and in today’s society a right to voice our own thoughts and opinions, contradictory to this statement we still have to watch our words and actions. This brings me to a topic I can cringe over, PC, better known thanks to the controversial animated TV series Southpark, where they introduced “PC Principal” with his infamous tag line “Watch your PC bro!”

Although being a politically correct know it all, PC Principal ignored the moral fundamentals of basic human instincts like…KILLING PEOPLE!

This is what is wrong with today’s society, everyone is sweating the small stuff and focusing on the irrelevant crap the media shoves down their gullets than actually fixing the real stuff.

When last have you grabbed the latest gossip mag only to read that Kylie Jenner has recently had a massive melt-down but just a few weeks prior to her melt-down she could not get enough media attention trying to make top dollar following in the footsteps of her older siblings?

Is what you’re reading really relevant to you? How did you feel reading that bit of media hyped up gossip and did it change your life? Did it make you feel better about your so-called “normal” life or did you genuinely feel sympathy for her?

In my opinion, meh. Not relevant to me, as I feel media will build you up and break you down just as fast and then gasp in the glory of negative super sales.

A saying I absolutely try to use daily “not my circus, not my monkeys”. My own drama is more than enough for me to handle. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Anyone who knows me well enough will say I’ve always wanted to be rich and famous. This was true when I was in my teens, not so true right now. Yes, more money will always be welcome to live a little more comfortably, but fame…nah, keep that. I will pass.

You want a fast ticket to the grave, adopt some fame.

But what I do want to do is leave my mark on this world, even if it is a handful of people like friends and family it would still be a mark, no matter how small.

You see, even though I’d much love to leave my mark, that mark tends to jump around like the monthly graphs of the stock exchange.

I’m a dreamer, a floater, a bit more of the latter though and had I not been proudly “lazy” I would probably never hit ground level. “Lazy” in inverted commas because saying this, I can be extremely efficient when I need to be. So efficient that I make the time to be lazy afterwards. This up and down scale of living coincides with my star sign, Libra, the scales, there is never a middle ground. EVER. Knowing this too, Libra my sun sign being an air sign and Gemini being my moon sign, also an air sign, do you see my dilemma here?

This right here is proof that my head is 99.95% up in the clouds. Genuine proof. Hence the dreaming, too much dreaming done and not much doing. This makes achieving my dreams and goals almost impossible because had I not been dreaming and focusing on the end results, the red carpet or the award celebrations, I’d actually have time to get down to the nitty gritty and as we all know the nitty gritty gets (for lack of a better word) gritty.

So this is the gritty and I’m finally pulling my finger out of my butt-hole and getting down to it. Although as horrible as it sounds, it takes me away from my usual shit I have to put up with on a daily basis. You know the usual shit we all have to put up with and either sort it out or shrug it off.

It’s my outlet that reboots my inlet…so here I am, giving you my last 3 years or so of the madness, turmoil, swirling hexagons which has become my life.