Assholes, Assholes everywhere!

ASSHOLES, ASSHOLES EVERYWHERE!

I’m quite appalled at the general level of asshole percentage we have right now at our disposal in the world.  A lot of that percentage however does not seem to get disposed of fast enough to keep up with the pace of more assholes being generated.  Why is this I wonder?

Trust me on this one:  NEVER underestimate the ability for someone you’ve known for decades to become a statistic in this worldwide phenomena.  It happens too often, I’ve seen it happen right in front of my own eyes, I’ve experienced this first hand, second hand, third hand, 10 fingers and 10 toes.  More assholes grown every day than money bills being printed.

I’ve narrowed this asshole epidemic down using an asshole-pedometer, this mental device suggests the level of asshole I find most annoying.  I’ve put them into my highest-to-lowest percentages but as we all differ in opinion, yours might need some juggling around.

Number one:  Religion

Oh my God!  And please do not summons me to the bottom pits of hell for using God’s name “in vain”.  That term “in vain” has never really made sense to me anyway, I’m not using God’s name in vain at all, it is used as a verbal expression, one of concern, happiness, sadness depending on the topic at hand.  This specific “Oh my God” is definitely one of concern just to make it very clear how anal I am about religion.

Everyone has a religion, even if you don’t, it’s still your religion to not have one.  I get it.  I understand it.  I am not either yay or nay about it.  I respect your decision and so should you mine.  DO NOT and I repeat…DO ABSOLUTELY MOST DEFINITELY NOT EVER try to shove your beliefs down my throat.  I am not a duck, I do not need any more fattening up and my liver is tainted enough as it is.  Making Foie Gras is a disgusting act and man should be hung by his testicals for the horrendousness of this delicacy.

I am Pagan, a bit Wiccan and damn proud of it!  No, I do not use black magic to cast evil spells onto others, nor do I summon demons and just because I accessorise with a pentagram does not make me a devil worshiper.  This type of ignorance is unacceptable!  Also, this level of ignorance just plainly suggests that that there might be a lack of grey matter, internet or the misspelling of the word “Google”.

What I can tell you is that “nature is my church”.  A short quote and a bit clichéd, but as I like to see clichés as short sweet and it speaks to many who don’t have the time and effort to use the worldwide web to do some research before slandering one’s religion. 

Don’t be an asshole!

Number two:  Judgmental People

You’d think (logically) that in today’s day and age, us humans being way more evolved than way back when in the stone ages that people would be more accepting of others.  Not the case.  In fact, I think back in the stone age, is where most of the accepting was done.  Saying this, I do not wish to be back in the stone ages at all, I quite like the convenience of not hunting for food, nor do I wish to make sharp metal objects to kill things – when they are already readily available for purchase nowadays.

My fiancé, Darren, is a tattoo artist and being a tattoo artist, he is relevantly covered in tattoos and over the years I have quite a collection myself too as goes for piercings.  Now I have seen too many, too many, raised eyebrows and heard more than my fair share of negative comments due to the way he looks.  I’m quite befuddled by the audacity of these types of people.  A lot of negative commentary and judgement comes from a passage in the Bible (old testament), and I quote:

Leviticus 19:28 which says, “Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print or tattoo any marks upon you: I am the Lord.”

Yet there are Christians coming into the tattoo shop by the hundreds, having a cross tattooed or having a bible verse tattooed.  Please explain this level of logic to me.  The Lord said….(read above).  

Okay, I know that verse is like super majorly old, yet you STILL get people living this way and they remain so, so closed-mined, I can't deal!  

Meanwhile behind the scene, here we have this amazing human being, kind, caring, supportive, super saxy, beautiful inside & out, making a living and supporting his family with the talents he was born with, that's more than I can say for quite a few of us!

Let’s hear that comment again?

  

These judgmental views are not only tattoo or looks related, they are everywhere you go in every walk of life, I only used this as an example.  Whether you have a bashed up car or a status symbol car, whether you parent in a lenient way or a disciplined way, whether you follow the law or like to bend the rules a bit.  Like I said in my introduction, we are all given a unique mind as individuals, let’s do the logical evolved thing and let people be.  Let’s leave the judging to the Universe when we all dispel into the vastness of whatever our souls choose to become or go to.  No judging. 

Don’t be an asshole!

Number three:  Rudeness

It takes absolutely nothing to be kind, decent, mannered and accepting.  Zilch.

Why on this blue planet of ours would you want to unrest your calm auric bubble that is encasing your every being by being a total dick?

I don’t want to point out the obvious here but you do know that you are what you think, speak and do, this to be true, why would you want to be rude?  You are subsequently manifesting more rudeness towards yourself, now I’m no genius here but this trait is not a good trait to have.  This goal is not one to be achieved.  And guess what?  If you happen to be rude (and you’ll know this by the way people act around you), you indeed have the ability to change this. 

Don’t be an asshole!

Number four:  Impatience

Here is another cliché:  “Rome wasn’t built in a day”.  In fact, it's taken approximately 1,009,491 days to build Rome. This is based on the traditional founding of the city (21 April 753 BCE), but we should also consider that the city has been sacked and rebuilt several times, this statistic was jotted down early in 2016.  You do the math.

Slow down, what is the rush?  Should we start writing out the obituaries? 

We live in a fast paced world and believe me, being fast paced in a fast world is nerve wrecking, it’s going to drive you nuts, get you all flustered, irritable and annoying for other people to watch.  You’re getting nothing done quicker rushing around, swearing at cashiers for doing their job on a full day or cutting across ten lanes of the road only to stop at the same traffic light as me. 

Relax.

Don’t be an asshole!

Number five:  Falseness

There is nothing that peeves me off more than people overexerting themselves to be noticed.  Excuse the pun, it genuinely grates my nipples into a parmesan-like texture.

For the love of drugs and alcohol people, please, from the bottom of a bottle, try your best not to engage in this activity.

It will only run you into my fist. 

Are you really such a dumbass unauthentic brain-washed follower of the herd that you cannot distinguish your own personality from others’.  Come on, get a grip.

Don’t be an asshole!

Number six:  Attention seekers

We all know someone like this, if not many.  I happen to know of many, just because I have Facebook and I can see what friends of friends of friends are sharing etc.  Here we have photo that “Jane” has shared (I don’t know a Jane, so I’m in the clear).  Jane has an amazing body and she’s quite a looker too.  Jane’s photo is a selfie, half nude as always with the quote:  “Life is so beautiful, blessed to the max, I love butterflies and I’m quite sure I’m missing some intelligence right now”.

Jane, get a life.  If you so badly want a compliment, ask for one!  Don’t beat around the bush with your attention-seeking non-intelligent garbage quote.  Post your photo and be straight:  “God dammit, how fucking hot do I look!?”

There we go Jane, you’re getting the picture.  Good girl.

But remember…

Don’t be an asshole!